The Unexpected Companion.

Living in Spain has definitely bought some unexpected challenges including times of homesickness, pneumonia, missing my sister's graduation, and managing the rainy spring climate that has masked the months of April and May.  However, the one question I have received rather consistently is the age-old "have you met anyone?"  So I thought I'd take some time to write down my thoughts.

The typical conversation goes something like this,
"Have you met anyone?"
"No."
"Nobody??"
"Nope."
"Are you trying??"
"Not really."
"Well, Jeez Sarah, arn't you lonely? Don't you WANT to meet anyone?"

The one challenge I don't have hovering over my head is the one most people have been worried about.  Ahh irony.  

So where does this come from?  Why is this the buzzing question?  Is it really so odd that a young woman decides to spend a year overseas and can enjoy every day without the need of sharing it with some significant other?  

Now don't get me wrong.  I've had those cringing moments of loneliness with no way to ease it besides holding onto a pillow and falling asleep, however, I was also very accustomed to having some form of male relationship in my life since I was 17.  I had never actually taken Loneliness along for the ride.  I just sort of kept kicking him to the curb, but somehow he showed up as valiant as ever, and I ended up being the one bruised and battered!  So I made a decision.  I was gonna take him along this time. Let's go, Loneliness, get in.  Nos vamos.

So during the first part of our trip together we really did not like each other very much.  I was trying to enjoy my time with my new family here in Spain and Loneliness was a buzz kill.  He kept trying to bring back all these old memories of past relationships and heartaches, broken friendships, and low self-esteem.  I, however, remained steadfast.  I was taking in all the new sights, sounds, and flavors of Spain while maintaining this adrenaline rush that comes with new travels. Everything was new and exciting--yet also a little scary--and it didn't help having a little pest by my side.

By Christmas my steadfastness and my 'travel bug' had worn off a little.  I was becoming much more comfortable with my surroundings and my life here started feeling like home.  But it's just when things start to settle in that some people come along and try to take advantage.  That's what Loneliness did.  I had a good two months of "Can I do this?" moments.  I think some of that had to do with my hatred of winter, as well as missing my sister's graduation from UNCG.  Wherever it came from, Loneliness had the upper hand, and I needed to change that real quick.

By my fifth month I had gotten so used to having Loneliness around that it started to seem like old hat.  I have had more mid-day coffee dates with Loneliness that I care to count, but he became more of a companion than a bother.  What started to happen was that Loneliness turned into Solidarity--a complete acceptance and enjoyment of being alone.  A fulfillment, rather than a burden.  We have actually done some pretty cool things together!

This is an art project we did together

This is us straddling the Belgium/Holland Border

This is us in Italy

So what happens when you take Loneliness for a ride? You become friends, and then ironically you are not lonely anymore--but completely content with who you are, where you are, and what you've become.  Loneliness is not a sad thing, its an empowering thing and should be used as such.  How wonderful is it when your best friend is...YOU.  So thanks, Loneliness, for the trip of a lifetime.


--I owe so much thanks to Ali Berlinski, author of A Beautiful Mess, for being my best friend in Santiago, Jacklyn for being my rock through everything here in Spain (and the best travel buddy), and Levon for showing me the fiesta spots in Santiago. <3.